Scene:  The Enoteca at Auburn Road Vineyards, Pilesgrove, NJ

Time:  about 11:15 am

Date:  Friday, April 12, 2019

The scene opens as a harried Stephanie, shift manager for the day, walks into the Enoteca to find Jules and Scott, seated at two different tables, working on their computers.  Steph is talking on her phone…

Steph:  Ok, I’ll tell Scott…he’s right here.

Scott: (whispering to himself) This can’t be good.

Steph:  (smiling hesitantly )  Both ends of our road had been blocked by the state police….apparently a movie is being filmed?  The trooper who finally let me down the road said it is supposed to last til midnight tonight! 

Scott and Jules look at each other and without speaking stand in unison and head for the door.

The scene shifts to Scott and Jules driving in their hyper green Jeep to one end of the blockade on Featherbed Lane. They stop and a very cheerful trooper rolls down his window.  Scott steps out of the Jeep and leans in the window of the squad car…

Trooper: (grinning brightly) Mornin! 

 On the other side of the road, behind the squad car is very hectic woman with dark sunglasses, a clip board and a head set that she is muttering into, looking a curious mix of bored to death and really pissed off.

Scott:  Mornin’ Officer! Isn’t this a fine mornin’? 

Trooper:  (almost gushing) Indeed it is!

Scott:  Sooooo…what is happening here today??

Trooper:  Really sorry, sir. But no one can get through.  The other side of the road by Rt. 40 is closed too. 

Scott:  (still smiling…clearly recognizing the sublime absurdity of the apparent situation) I see.  We are surrounded and there no chance for escape.  Here’s my problem… we own the winery just up the road there and we will be opening up in 10 minutes. 

 The camera shifts to Jules.  Not amused by the situation, she  jumps out of the Jeep and is jawing with the pissed off woman who’s mood is not improving.  The camera pans back to Scott as he speaks.

Scott: (still addressing the trooper) So tell me…what’s goin on? 

Trooper: (very much warming to the subject and doubtlessly proud to be in the know)  Well! It’s a movie – or maybe a TV show, I’m not sure.  But it takes place in the 1980’s –  in Oklahoma.  It’s about a guy who quits his job to become a rodeo cowboy!  Can you imagine that?? I guess this place looks like Oklahoma.  I don’t know.  Never been there. 

Through the squad car window, Jules can be seen storming away from the clipboard, sunglasses, headset and the pissed off, muttering woman wearing them.  Scott thanks the trooper and meets Jules at the Jeep.

Jules:  (clearly steamed) Can you friggin’ believe this???    

Cue  rolling montage of clips of the next three and a half hours of Scott and Jules’ day  as they talk to all kinds of people  – township officials , county officials and, as the location of the blockade keeps moving, more state troopers (all very nice) and production assistants (some cranky and some just delightful).  And, back at The Enoteca, they congratulate and toast the brave guests who are occasionally able to run the blockade and make it through to visit throughout the afternoon. 

Scene is now late afternoon in the Enoteca, as the Enoteca staff moves about  getting ready to host the weekly What’s For Dinner Friday.   Scott sits down at his computer, alone as the activity bustles around him.  The noise of the room fades behind him as soft music rises, the camera pans back as he posts the following on the Auburn Road Facebook page (Scott’s overdubbed voice reads the following ): 

Dear Friends:

The Great Hollywood Blockade of Auburn Road Vineyards continues.  It turns out that the film crew is moving around the area obstructing routes somewhat randomly depending on the shot they want to get and neither the police nor the production company staff know when and where they will block next.  I would like to tell you the best way to get to us but I have no idea.  But we are open and have lots of wine though, after this day, I might just settle in and try to drink it all myself.   I even asked the one nice young production assistant if he would text me when they change locations so we can post updates on social media and he told me that he would have been happy to but that he didn’t believe in social media and texting  – that he has too many important things to do with his time.  Recognizing that he had been standing on the street blocking traffic for the last 7 hours, I paused for a second, looked at him, and then shook his hand and clapped him on the shoulder and said “Good for you, Brother!” 

All the best and be careful out there…

Scott

Scene faces to black as Scott drops his face into his hands.

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